social butterfly

surround me and postpone me and thread me like a bead
and choke me with your slumber
and sing softly to me
and make me cry let me
rest my head upon your newly freed shoulder
and let me scream into your clothes
and let me just smolder and let me
think that I am small
and just stop telling me lies
and let me know
and please
postpone
the hate I feel
that you despise
and I am wrong
and I am tired and
I'm so worn
I have expired and
engulfed your thoughts and hatreds and
everything.
Everything is numbers crunched
stream of conscious flow
and hate
and love me
love me.
Love me please.
Why am I so needy?
Why can't I just spit this out?
These flowing thoughts
I want to die.
I'm emo, yes.
BUT I HAVE EVERYTHING
everything.
You know you can't deny that.
I'm finding that being comfortable
in my own skin
hurts.
Because one moment I'm accepted,
the next I'm crying.
I'm not like those normal emo girls that don't talk.
I talk and I
share and I
love.
I love you.
And I'm not socially awkward, am I?
Only when alone, left to my thoughts.
Otherwise.
I'm a social butterfly.
Right?
That's what they say.
I'm not even rhyming anymore.
I'm crying, right?
I'm sighing
I'm lying
I'm eying your
Love your light your halfhearted smile in my direction and
fair is the loveliest thing.
The ugliest thing.
Huh. That almost rhymes. Funny how that
works.

love is small

"Wait your turn to speak"
So I wait and I
Wait for my
Turn around my
Love, you're going no
Where are you? And
When the chance to speak to me,
Arises, thy sun in the
Sky, I cannot know
That everything ends, turns
Around and around my
Love,
Chances fading away, impatience
Arises like
"Son, don't let them see you"
Sweat, sweet like honey
Dew on grass on finger tips blades
Crisscrossing, crossing
Out with deep black ink
On white and simple words
That, lovingly, she writes, her diary
Closing
Time again to wait,
To speak,
To breathe your song's
Sounds of heaviness and sweat and
Desire, they hesitate but know desire and want
"Well, go ahead. Say thank you," and
Growing pains and growing,
Up, up away and know
That, yes.
I'm smiling now. I'm
Waiting to speak and knowing, still
Desirous and
Tensional and
Tenacious
And still, my dear, around,
Around and everything ends, my
Love is small and
Sacred, she is light like
Feathers brush her face
Like Fingers, nails, tickling
Gently, she closes the book, and
"You will go far" but
Still. Arising, my

Love is small.

And still,
Like honey dew on wet grass blades
That sink forever into my back and
Wake me up into the morning of the sun
"My son. You will go far.
Sure, my love is small, but still.
Sun, arising.
You will go far."

and then she runs away

Mimi Wilhelm

now looks up to where her hands hold the earth, above her head, it pressing down on her fingertips. If only her fingers hadn't been numb, and she'd noticed her power. If only she would stop looking backwards

away from the sun
How pitiful she flies away

numb, she screams, and in the darkness, light. She has stolen everything to gain nothing, and now walks with a straight back.

small inside,
Her emotions press like little ghosts inside a glass bottle with a metal cap.

Her redeemer is far away.
Her redeemer is black for his absence and
quiet in his far off glance.

"stop looking at me,"
she says
and then she runs away