Note: A possible college essay. What do you guys think? (Double spaced it's actually a little over a page and a quarter.)
The mountain tops loomed over Elsie as she sobbed quietly inside her hands. Before her, a boundless tower stood where her yard had been, where her heart had been, and through her tears, for a moment, she could almost see the tall, flowing grass, here, the chrysanthemums and daffodils, and here, an overgrown pathway. But when the tears’ flowing abruptly stopped, all that remained was an endless pillar, a concrete mass of humanity’s progress. The top was now blocking the two-o-clock sun, and the heat of the day sent shivers down her spine. Elsie shuttered as she remembered leaving, and gasped a suppression of a sob.
Inside of her, something broke. Elsie turned to walk away.
The mountains of her foundation were still there, as she traversed the valley below, the valley of the shadow of death, remembering not to fear for He was with her. Of course the mountains were still there. Who could move mountains? The yard is gone, Elsie remembered. So? She and her family had been the only inhabitants, anyways. Well, aside from the chipmunks and squirrels, rivers and rocks. She laughed as she remembered skipping over the stepping stones of a stream that had wound around her cottage. She’d had a life. She’d had dreams and feelings and a future that would hum in harmony with God’s will. Flitting in sync with nature’s glory.
Now all Elsie had was a tower, a tower of Babel that threatened, not to reach God, but to be God. As she looked back, it loomed forebodingly in the two-o-clock sky, falling further and further behind her quickening feet. The clouds made the moment look like day had passed to night already, and Elsie knew the summer storm would come soon enough. When it did, she’d accept her fate, though the tower, a tower of communication, and knowledge, and bridges spanning worlds, would stand forever. Humans had played God, defying obstacles and washing nature into a thing of the past. The tower would stand even as the storm crashed over its concrete structure. Even as the yellow excavators destroyed the cottages. The tower would stand even as they moved the mountains.
And as she heard the equipment rumbling in the distance, she sat on the ground to wait for the lightning to strike.
5 comments:
...what question are you answering!? usually college essays are a question-answer deal. i can't tell you whether its good or bad until i know that. but in the context of just a blog not in anyway related to college, i like it. it makes you think a bit.
remembering not to fear for He was with her.
seems out of sync
Otherwise, fantastic.
well, if i MUST explain mir, i shall. Firstly there's Elsie who is nature and peace and obviously believes in God ('I shall not fear for You are with me' is from a psalm) Then there's civilization: The cell phone tower, which is destroying all that.
Marina: there is no question. well there are some, but one of them is "an essay topic of your choice," so i just tried expirimenting with that one and that's what came out.
i think the professors that look at this and decide on your admission, unless they're wicked awesome english professors, will not understand it without further explanation. that might just be my low expectations of professors though, who knows.
No, I understood that, it just seemed off to mr. Gomen.
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