I was filling out my blog profile and I decided to answer a random question. It was this: "The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig." I answered it, but then it said that it could only be 400 characters. So much for that. Anyways, here is my response, considerably longer than 400 characters. I apologize for this ahead of time, and please, children, don't take this to heart.
There once lived a bald frog named Ed on the shores of Lake Tipawaka. His appearance was made a mockery in the town off the shore, so Ed became depressed all the time, especially when the air outside began to become crisp and crystals of ice could be seen shimmering atop the lake. When winter came his head would freeze and he looked on in envy at all the other frogs, whose luscious hairs would flow from their soggy scalps.
One winter morning, an especially cold winter's morning, Ed woke up feeling lonely and ignored, cold and sad. In a moment of radical desperation, Ed flung open the door to his dugout and ran to the nearest Wig Emporium, throwing some change onto the counter and grabbing the nearest wig, which happened to be a smooth looking toupee, positioning it roughly on his head. The graceful hair now swept in front of his forehead and barely touched his neck, a stylish haircut for a stylish frog. Ed felt elated, like he could do anything in the world, now that he had hair. And so he walked proudly to work, head held high, chin up, and shoulders square. Ed, a longtime school teacher, could not wait to see what the children had to say. They would look up to their teacher now.
As Ed walked to school people were giving him curious stares. "Hmmmm.... I didn't realize I was THAT handsome!" Ed said, raising his head a little higher still. But when Ed arrived at school, all the children began laughing at Ed, and as they did so their heads bobbed back and forth wildly, large, evil smiles on their faces, hair streaming in cascades of browns and greens behind their youthful, pale, green necks. "What's going on?" he yelled, frightful of their response. The children continued to laugh, but wouldn't say anything, because they thought he knew. Well, it was obvious, wasn't it? His new toupee was bright pink. But, of course, Ed was colorblind, had always been color blind, so had hadn't realized that a ludicrously toned wig sat on his head. The childrens' laughs were getting louder and louder, echoing dangerously in his ears, falling around him, pushing inside of him. Ed began to back away from the gathering crowd, still confused and scared. Tears began to drip down his face.
"Why do you hate me?"
"Because you are a bad person," a voice in his head responded.
"A bad person?!" He asked to this voice. " A BAD PERSON?!?! ALL I EVER WANTED WAS FOR EVERYONE TO LIKE ME! All I ever wanted was to be loved. Why won't they love me?! WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME?!?!?!?!?" He screamed inside his head, face turning red from the rage and anguish, before the children. Now they only laughed harder because of this bright red, paired with the bright pink of the toupee. His sight was quite something to behold.
"Fine," He muttered, his voice becoming high and panicky under his breath. "You don't like me. My fate is doomed. Good bye."
"Yes, that's right. You are unwanted. Leave forever." And so, Ed ran away from the children toward the lake, the pattering steps of the students gaining on him, their laughs growing in momentum, their hair shaking more wildly, the late morning sun now shining off their locks in a light too bright to look at, a light that burned Ed's eyes as he frantically turned his head back for a moment. Ed now reached the lake and took one last, steady gulp before jumping into the lake before him. As he dove the pink toupee took flight as well, journeying off into the sky, carried away by the cold, windy day. It glinted for a moment, and then was gone, a mere memory of a teacher who had lost his hair and hope. Ed drowned that day, and still the children laughed. They laughed all the way to school and all the way home, their evil, toothy smiles flashing still.
5 comments:
i see you transformed your profile update into a blog of its own. no, i haven't read it yet, my cousin is here so i'll read it tomorrow night. it just amuses me how answering a question can turn into such a long story.
WHAT KIND OF CHILDREN'S STORY IS THAT?!?! also, you keep referring to ed as a person... he's a frog, isn't he? and if he's still a frog, can't he swim? i kept hoping he would've been the one to discover that frogs could swim and make it the common thing to do and it'd have a bright ending. but it didn't. it made me so sad.
Uh, Penguin, frogs are also not mammals. So they wouldn't have hair, anyways.
And I think it's a fantastic childrens story. You may wonder, but this is what the children of today require! A bitter tale of alienation and poor choice of wigs. 'Tis highly applicable to current society.
And it's schizophrenic, not scitzophrenic.
*shudder* i hate the twist of society...
i think this is actually the most moralific (excuse my phrasing) story i've ever written. Ed had a fault (being color blind.) People (eh. i mean frogs) made fun him, without a spare thought in their heads. Don't you see? He had to die? That was his only fate. He had to! The world was cruel. The world is cruel. WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! The world is so very, very cruel. Although, as well all know, the world and what's in it isn't always black and white. Oh, and penguin, i turned a comment into a life lesson, which may possibly be worse than turning a profile update into it's own blog
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