alas insanity

Alas.
Insanity,
Bracing me like a leather choker and falling
down my waist now.
Rhythms bleeding one into the next that echo like the sound of drugs hitting the floor
and every last dying sound of my breath, ragged,
my clench week on its last hope
We are all on drugs,
Psychedelic mayhem breeding sanity
Sanity begets love.
Love begets forgiveness.
Then why do the pills make me hate you?
They said I would feel better,
like a calm hand on my mouth, erasing
the last 18 years
But desperation is what clouds my consciousness now,
A cry that is only mine to hear because if you own it,
than you own me.
You can take my insides out, and wrap them like a flag in storm,
but the metal pole will not stand against my twisted past.
Even its icy interior will crack from the pressure that
FOR SOME REASON
cannot fade.
Maybe it was you.
They sent you here...
Right?
To take me to the nice men in the white suits?